the organizer's comment

(1) the dialogue
[20:29] Roxanne Kristan: i want to be the writer
[20:29] Phoebe Isenia: pat your forehead
[20:29] Phoebe Isenia: ok
[20:29] Charlotte Mohegan: ok
[20:29] Phoebe Isenia: ok
[20:29] Charlotte Mohegan: I will be the organizor
[20:29] Phoebe Isenia: i think we should speed up
[20:29] Roxanne Kristan: yes
[20:29] Phoebe Isenia: what shoul i be?
[20:29] Charlotte Mohegan: yes!!!!!
[20:30] Phoebe Isenia: so ocean the reader?
[20:30] Phoebe Isenia: and what's left?
[20:30] Charlotte Mohegan: or I will be the editor
[20:30] Phoebe Isenia: ok
[20:30] Phoebe Isenia: and i'm the organizer
[20:31] Phoebe Isenia: ten minute for roxanne's part
[20:31] Roxanne Kristan: any suggestions
[20:32] Charlotte Mohegan: first I think you should have paragraphs
[20:33] Roxanne Kristan: you log in again
[20:33] Roxanne Kristan: i just done that
[20:34] Charlotte Mohegan: ok I got it
[20:34] Charlotte Mohegan: maybe you could add "will" in "DJs talk about many hot topics and the interesting gossip in NCU"
[20:35] Charlotte Mohegan: Here is my little suggeastion
[20:35] Roxanne Kristan: oh yeah i forget this you guys have mentioned it last week
[20:36] Charlotte Mohegan: maybe you could add your own opinion on these events becuase I merely saw the offical speaking
[20:36] Charlotte Mohegan: some personal thought on them
[20:37] Phoebe Isenia: or you can put yourselves on the readers' side
[20:37] ko525252 Shelter: yes in their shoes~
[20:37] ko525252 Shelter: I don't have ur blog~
[20:37] ko525252 Shelter: sorry~
[20:38] Roxanne Kristan: i got it
[20:38] Phoebe Isenia: three minutes left~
[20:38] Roxanne Kristan: you mean i add more descriptive sentences?
[20:38] Roxanne Kristan: http://roxanne131.blogspot.com/2010/03/pinewave-radio-makes-you-on-air.html
[20:38] ko525252 Shelter: THANKS!!
[20:39] Charlotte Mohegan: that's all
[20:39] Roxanne Kristan: thank you
[20:40] Roxanne Kristan: http://roxanne131.blogspot.com/2010/03/pinewave-radio-makes-you-on-air_23.html
[20:40] Roxanne Kristan: this o ne
[20:40] Roxanne Kristan: ko
[20:40] Charlotte Mohegan: does ko has something to add
[20:40] Charlotte Mohegan: we can wiat for you~
[20:40] ko525252 Shelter: thanks!!
[20:40] ko525252 Shelter: u guys can go on~
[20:40] Phoebe Isenia: or what reasons that these two programms will attract students
[20:41] ko525252 Shelter: I will add after reading~
[20:41] Phoebe Isenia: and what results do the pinewave workers expect to get from these two projects
[20:41] Phoebe Isenia: ok
[20:41] Phoebe Isenia: then let's move on the last one!!



(2) a summary of the reader’s and the editor's SUGGESTED REVISIONS

One suggested revision is about grammar that the writer has to add “will” to one of the sentences to make the tense more integrated. The other is about content that the writer could add her own opinion to the two programs and step on readers’ shoes, adding what reasons make the programs attract students in NCU and what results do Pinewave workers expect to get from these.



(3) a brief comment on the entire article with respect to organization, length, logic, and style.

I think the main idea of the news is very close to us and clear. The writer is like broadcast an advertisement but she add the official speaking that really make this news valuable and persuasive. In the first paragraph, the introduction is clear. In the following two paragraphs, the writer respectively give more details to each program that can make readers understand step by step. The concluding paragraph is trying to catching readers’ attention.